Jokes :D

Crack: A man opened petrol pump, but not even 1 customer went there.
Jack: y?
Crack: Because he opened petrol pump on second floor. 

Height Of Illiteracy:
You take a Blade
Write your Lover's Name on your Arm.
and
Make A Spelling Mistake. 

U know why Women starts with "W"
cause al Questions start with "W"
Who?
Why?
What?
when?
Which?
Whom?
Where?
Wife..? 

What is a difference between a Kiss, a Car and a Monkey?
A kiss is so dear,
a car is too dear and
a monkey is you dear. 

Height of Craziness?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Getting a blank paper Xeroxed. 

What is the diff between 'U' and 'I'
.
.
.
.
'U' are a curved line and 'I' am a straight line 

Q: What do you do
when a blonde throws a pin at you?
A: Run like
hell....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth. 

They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning. 

Everyone makes mistakes but only your girlfriends, wife and boss have gifted talent of finding, remembering and reminding it to U. 

Argument between British and INDIA.
British: we spoiled your mother Land for 200yrs
India: we spoil your mother tongue daily 

TEACHER: how do you spell crocodile?
JOHN:K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L
TEACHER: No that is wrong
JOHN: Maybe it’s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it. 

n USA
Daughter: Dad,
I got married yesterday evening.
I 4got 2 in4m u.
Dad: Its ok child.
But next time Don’t f4get 2 invite me 

Teacher: There is frog, potato cost Rs 3,what is my age?
STUDENT:32 yrs.
Teacher: How do you know?
STUDENT: my sister is 16yrs she’s half MAD 

Boss asked worker
to buy two corner tickets for a movie
to watch with his Girlfriend.
Sardar bought two corner tickets
A1 and A25 

Top 3 colleges rule: 1:Be quite in the class because others are sleeping 2:Books it works as pillow 3:keep the campus clean so be absent 

MALL LOVE STORY:
"HE PROPOSED
SHE SMILED
BUT
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
NO TEETH!!!!!!!!!!!!
HE DIED" 

Two persons stopped suddenly.
1st Sardar: Oh My God, My wife and my girlfriend coming together.
2nd person: Mine too. 

Doctors after operation..
and students after exams have same thing 2 Say.....
V tried your best....
right now..
we can’t say anything.. 

A man in Hell asked Devil: Can I make a call 2 my Wife?
after making call he asked how much 2 pay.
Devil : Nothing, Hell 2 hell is Free

Check ur brain power

Here are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately. OK?

 

Let's find out just how clever you really are....

 

Ready?

 

GO!!!

 

===========

 

First Question:

 

You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?

 

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Answer: If you answered that you are first, and then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person, you take his place, so you are second!

 

Try not to screw up next time.

Now answer the second question, but don't take as much time as you took for the first one, OK ?

===========

Second Question:

If you overtake the last person, then you are...?

 

```````````````````````````````````````````

 

Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person?

 

You're not very good at this, are you?

 

 

 

===========

 

Third Question:

Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.

 

Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30.

Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000

Now add 10. What is the total?

 

 

Did you get 5000?

 

The correct answer is actually 4100.

If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator!  Today is definitely not your day, is it? Maybe you'll get the last question right.......Maybe.

 

===========

Fourth Question:

 

Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Did you Answer Nunu?

NO! Of course it isn't.

Her name is Mary. Read the question again!

===========

Okay, now the bonus round:

A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush.  By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.

 

Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?

 

 

 

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He just has to open his mouth and ask...

It's really very simple.......... Like you!

 

 
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